Thursday, July 06, 2006

Ten Second Movie Reviews

The shorter Superman Returns: Superman can do anything, as long as he grunts hard enough. Next time, try a Kryptonite gag. I'd totally watch that movie. Three stars.

The Getaway: It's really unfortunate that the most iconic slap of all time is Steve McQueen's character being a dick. On the plus side, this movie features the most sadistic B-plot ever filmed. Four stars.

The Thirsty Dead. This movie's first key problem is a lack of... um... Dead. Who are thirsty. It's other key problem is that it's awful. But I knew that going in. Anyways, the only reasons to watch this movie are A: it delivers exactly what it promises (women running around in improvised clothing getting chased around caves and a jungle), and B: despite coming out in 1975, it clearly seems to have been made either on a bet or purely as an excuse to put together a cocaine budget after someone won a lot of unwanted Star Trek native garb costumes on eBay. Two stars.

Godzilla: Final Wars. I never thought I would say this about a Godzilla movie, but this was totally awesome. Ryuhei Kitamura totally delivers the madcap action and successfully destroys civilization with giant monsters. I agree with reviews that argue that there's too much hand-to-hand and too little giant monster fighting for a Godzilla movie. But at the same time, this movie so exceeded my expectations that I can't say they should change a thing. Kazuki Kitamura was phenomenal, over-the-hill mixed martial arts star Don Frye was tolerable. I kept screaming at Don, "come on, get knocked over, let somebody sit on your chest and pummel the crap out of you. It'll be just like old times..." Four stars.

Mighty Baby. This movie is a sequal to La Brassiere--the greatest romantic comedy ever made--and is but a pale imitation of its genius. But a pale imitation of La Brassiere is still enough to keep me laughing and screaming nonstop. I was a bit irritated at the number of scenes that were formula sequel scenes: "take scene from first movie, copy it directly into second movie, then turn up to eleven." However, enough of those scenes were zany enough or tongue in cheek enough to keep me entertained. Ultimately, I wanted this movie to be a thematic sequel to La Brassiere: just as the first is a movie about two men learning to understand women and a playboy meeting his match intermingled with a plot about bras; I'd hoped this would similarly take the characters to the next chapter of their lives, growing older in love and moving onto parenthood. And there are a few of those moments in there, but ultimately, they just tried to duplicate the madcap zaniness from the first film, which was their key failure. Still, it was hilarious. Four stars.

Where Eagles Dare. I remembered this movie was all about the scene in front of the fireplace in the castle, identities switching back and forth. I didn't remember that the "all" was literal in that sentence. Although the suitcase of dynamite made me nostalgic for the gym bag of guns in the Killer. Three stars.


At 20 October, 2015 21:15, Blogger ninest123 Ninest said...

ninest123 10.21
ugg boots clearance, polo ralph lauren, michael kors outlet, burberry outlet, air max, louis vuitton, oakley sunglasses, oakley sunglasses, cheap oakley sunglasses, chanel handbags, kate spade outlet, louis vuitton outlet, nike shoes, christian louboutin, longchamp handbags, prada handbags, jordan shoes, michael kors outlet online sale, longchamp outlet, uggs outlet, louboutin shoes, michael kors outlet, michael kors outlet, ray ban sunglasses, tiffany and co, rolex watches, louis vuitton outlet, louis vuitton outlet stores, gucci outlet, michael kors outlet, oakley sunglasses, prada outlet, replica watches, louboutin, uggs, oakley sunglasses cheap, cheap uggs, ray ban sunglasses, michael kors outlet, ugg outlet, tiffany and co, longchamp handbags, ray ban sunglasses, tory burch outlet, nike free, polo ralph lauren outlet, louis vuitton handbags, louboutin outlet

At 20 October, 2015 21:17, Blogger ninest123 Ninest said...

polo ralph lauren, oakley pas cher, nike roshe, vanessa bruno, lululemon outlet online, nike free pas cher, abercrombie and fitch, louboutin, nike tn, nike free, true religion outlet, longchamp, sac guess, air max pas cher, true religion outlet, coach factory outlet, hollister, nike blazer, new balance pas cher, sac longchamp pas cher, coach outlet, kate spade handbags, timberland, air max, mulberry, coach outlet store online, true religion jeans, ralph lauren, north face, coach purses, vans pas cher, ray ban pas cher, nike air force, michael kors, michael kors outlet, polo lacoste, air max, nike roshe run pas cher, sac hermes, converse pas cher, michael kors uk, north face, ray ban sunglasses, hollister, michael kors pas cher, nike air max, true religion jeans, hogan outlet, air jordan, sac burberry

At 20 October, 2015 21:22, Blogger ninest123 Ninest said...

nike trainers, baseball bats, valentino shoes, vans shoes, north face outlet, celine handbags, louboutin, oakley, asics running shoes, wedding dresses, babyliss pro, abercrombie, giuseppe zanotti, hollister, timberland boots, new balance shoes, vans, air max, mcm handbags, lululemon outlet, air max, jimmy choo outlet, instyler, reebok outlet, gucci, p90x, bottega veneta, soccer jerseys, birkin bag, north face jackets, nfl jerseys, ghd, insanity workout, nike roshe run, ray ban, mont blanc, converse shoes, abercrombie and fitch, soccer shoes, converse, nike huaraches, iphone cases, herve leger, mac cosmetics, beats by dre, longchamp, chi flat iron, hollister clothing store, ralph lauren, ferragamo shoes, burberry outlet, air max

At 20 October, 2015 21:27, Blogger ninest123 Ninest said...

canada goose uk, hollister, louis vuitton, canada goose, sac louis vuitton, karen millen, moncler, canada goose outlet, moncler, ugg, ugg boots, links of london, wedding dresses, pandora charms, swarovski, louis vuitton uk, marc jacobs, sac lancel, toms shoes, thomas sabo, moncler, canada goose, canada goose, juicy couture outlet, barbour, rolex watches, pandora charms, doke gabbana, montre homme, pandora jewelry, moncler, swarovski crystal, canada goose, pandora jewelry, michael kors outlet online, coach outlet store online, michael kors outlet, sac louis vuitton, ugg, michael kors handbags, moncler outlet, ugg, canada goose jackets, barbour, moncler, canada goose, supra shoes, juicy couture, ugg pas cher, moncler, louis vuitton, moncler
ninest123 10.21

At 04 July, 2018 03:55, Blogger Stjsrty Xtjsrty said...

christian louboutin shoes
adidas outlet
ray ban sunglasses
christian louboutin shoes
polo ralph lauren
prada handbags
michael kors outlet clearance
louboutin shoes
off white shoes
giuseppe zanotti sneakers


Post a Comment

Send Haloscan trackback ping

<< Home

Academics Blog Top Sites